When your spouse becomes negative, it’s a quite shocking and daunting experience, and may even bring you down. You may notice that you are no longer able to look positively at things just like you did when you were newly married. You desperately want to bring back the positive energy back in your relationship and the good news is that you can do that. Here are some tips.
1. You can Control Your Thoughts
Understand that although changing others is not in your hand, controlling your thoughts is definitely in your hands. That way you can even control the way you communicate with your wife. You may find it challenging to interact with her at first because you keep saying to yourself that min kone er altid negativ i.e. my wife is always negative. But over time, it will become easier for you. With the change in your way of communication, she may surprise you with less negativity.
Start by avoiding taking her negative remarks and criticism personally. Negative people are usually the same with everyone and everything. Your changed manner of communication will help you change your own thinking about her negative energy.
2. Try to Understand
There are high chances that your wife has a kind of fear which is most probably the root cause of her negative energy, according to eminent psychologists. Psychologists identify three types of fear, viz. fear of being unlovable, fear of disrespect and a fear that the world is a hazardous place. Since your wife cannot see her negative attitude as her problem, she will probably continue to blame external factors, like people and situations for why she sees the world in such a depressing way. Trying to change her view will probably drain you further. So, it’s better to try to understand her.
3. Be Compassionate
Step into your wife’s shoes and try to think like her with consistent negative feelings and thoughts continuously arising. The negative energy that she radiates and you can’t help but take in dwells within her all the time. This may help you become compassionate towards the person that she is which can further help you respond to her in a loving way, instead of in annoyance.
4. Become Mature
Avoid condemning your wife for making you feel unhappy, because this is counterproductive. Instead show her you have control over your own fate by pursuing your goals, taking risks and creating trustful relationships. Thus instead of repeatedly uttering that min kone er altid negativ (my wife is negative), explain the reasons behind your choices when she makes negative or distrusting comments.
In short, while trying to improve your spouse, you should improve yourself first. And you will be happy to see things changing for good. Happy married life!